Eyes of a Child
by Jade Hunter
Summary: In the not so distant future, a young Gigi Hayden thinks about her life, her parents, love, and the other woman. Christopher x Lorelai


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Title: Eyes of a Child

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Author: Jade Hunter

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Disclaimer: None of the characters and properties of _Gilmore Girls_ belong to me.

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A.N: I wrote this because I wanted to. Dedicated to all the L/C fans, especially to JesS Sister, because she was the first person I knew who shared my L/C love and even gave it a name.

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Her mom is her mom, and her dad is her dad, but they're never mom _and_ dad. Because her mom knows, now, and he can't deny it.

They think she doesn't know, that she's naïve and innocent, protected from the outside world. After all, they've tried their best to make it that way.

But she knows.

They think she doesn't know, because she's so young, but she knows. Maybe they're the naïve ones, to be living like this, knowing but denying.

She's young, not stupid.

She knows that her mom isn't the one her dad thinks about, when the word _love_ comes up.

She knows about the other woman.

The other woman. It's so distant, thinking of her like that, especially when she knows who it is. When she knows who it is and when she loves that person, almost as much as she loves her own mom.

Lorelai.

When she first found out, she wanted to hate her, because she wanted to be loyal. She was mean to Lorelai, for a time, whenever she and Rory came to visit. She felt sorry about that now, because back then she hadn't known that Lorelai wasn't to blame.

No one could be blamed.

It wasn't as if they were having an actual affair, Lorelai and her dad. It might have been better if they had, though, instead of this loving from afar. If they had an affair with each other, maybe it wouldn't hurt her mom so much, because affairs are physical, easily dismissed. But Lorelai and her dad aren't having an affair – they're in love, and that's so much more.

She's sad, not just because her mom and dad aren't in love, but also because Lorelai can't be with her dad. 

Sure, she's like any other kid, she wants her parents to be together, but she doesn't exactly know what that's like; despite having taken the best care of her, her parents had never been…together, not in that sense.

Not like Lorelai and her dad.

When Lorelai and Rory visit – or she and her dad go to Stars Hollow – she can see it. The connection they have. They know each other so well, and it would be beautiful and awe-inspiring to witness such love, if it wasn't for the fact that he was her dad, married to her mom. Even knowing this, it's beautiful, awe-inspiring, but also tinged with sorrow and guilt.

Guilt, because she knew that it was because of her such a beautiful love was impossible. They hadn't said to her, had never given her the impression that this was the case, but she had figured it out, because there was no other reason that her dad would have married her mom. 

Not with Lorelai around.

But she was born, and her dad married her mom, to give her a family. She didn't quite understand why he wasn't married to Lorelai before, because Rory was his daughter, too, needed a family, too, but she didn't ask.

In the beginning, when her mom didn't know, she tried to be nice to Rory, to be another mom. But Rory hadn't wanted another mom, and when her mom had realized, she stopped. Now, her mom avoided Rory and Lorelai, especially Lorelai, because she thought it was because of them that her dream marriage wasn't coming true.

But it wasn't their fault, even _she_ knew that.

Her mom tries her best at everything, always comparing herself to Lorelai, even with raising her. It makes her sad, because her mom shouldn't have to measure herself up to another woman, especially not _the_ other woman.

All of this, her dad doesn't see, although if it was Lorelai, he would.

Maybe he chooses not to see with her mom, but she hopes it's not the case, because she doesn't want to think of him so badly. She likes to think that he can't see, instead, because it's never occurred to him that her mom would do such a thing.

Sometimes, she wants to tell him, "Open your eyes! Even _I_ can see!"

Other times, she wants to cling to him and say, "Forget about Lorelai."

And _some_ times, she thinks she would just calmly go to him and make him admit the truth. "You love her more. Go be with her."

But she's to selfish for that, even if it would make him happier. 

So she lets them think she doesn't know anything. She lets them think she's naïve and innocent, because she knows this part. Not knowing what would happen is scary, and she doesn't know what would happen if she told them she knew, that she saw everything.

Acting her part, she can see through all the others. Her mom is tired to being second in her dad's eyes, and her dad is still pining for Lorelai, and vice versa. Rory wants her parents to be together – completely understandable, as she is being very selfish to insure this for herself.

Many times, she feels bad, for being so selfish, but she can't help it.

She's still young, after all.

Maybe when she's older, she can finally say everything she wants to say now. Maybe then she won't be so selfish, and everyone can do what they want to do, not what they have to do.

Maybe then, everyone can finally see with clear eyes.

Through the eyes of a child.

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FIN.


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